You can choose the voice in your head.

I am a performer. It is what really helps me build engagement in my classroom when I teach. I love to put on a show and be my best in front of others. When I am observed by a principal or another “superior,” I amp it up even more.

By keeping the performance mindset with me, I am able to be my best at all times. There have been so many instances in my work life where I have felt lazy, and haven’t wanted to put in my 100%. However, reminding myself that I’m doing what I do for others and I want to make them happy keeps me going.

How could I do this in my own life, though? 

“Cherish some man of high character, and keep him ever before your eyes, living as if he were watching you, and ordering all your actions as if he beheld them. We can get rid of most sins, if we have a witness who stands near us when we are likely to go wrong. The soul should have someone whom it can respect,–one by whose authority it may make even its inner shrine more hallowed. Happy is the man who can make others better, not merely when he is in their company, but even when he is in their thoughts! And happy also is he who can so revere a man as to calm and regulate himself by calling him to mind!”

— Seneca, Letters from a Stoic

I came across this line in Letters from a Stoic. It spoke to me because it reminded me that we sometimes have a performative mindset when we lead our professional lives. But, who are we working for when we lead our personal lives?

Seneca says to choose a mentor, a “a master whose life, conversation, and soul-expressing face have satisfied you; picture him always to yourself as your protector or your pattern.”

I had never thought about the voice in our head like this. We can choose someone to model our behavior for and to want to please. It reminds me of the famous adage, WWJD (What Would Jesus Do?). It reminds me that we can always be aware of our actions, and in true stoic fashion, observe our actions from an objective point of view. It is important to sometimes remove yourself from the situation and look at it from another person’s perspective and ask yourself, “Is this something I am proud to see?

I don’t know if this quote will necessarily mean I start pretending that I’m being watched every moment by a Nelson Mandela or Mahatma Gandhi, but it is a good reminder for when I am mindlessly falling into dangerous routines. For when I waste time scrolling on my phone or am easily getting angry with people I am close to. I can remember that Seneca says we can literally become happier when we have the perspectives of others in our mind.

Who is the voice in your head? Who do you want to be like?